When seventeen souls witnessed the Sex Pistols in Manchester, history shifted. But when four sleep-deprived fathers convened in a dimly lit garage in 2013, the global geopolitical order truly cracked. They forged an idea so terrifyingly revolutionary that the United Nations hastily assembled a covert taskforce to neutralise its ideological ramifications.

At its peak, this radical vanguard posed a far greater threat to state security than a rogue pair of clippers at a Justin Bieber concert. Fearing their own destabilising power, these clandestine patriarchs vanished into the encrypted depths of the Dark Web, trading kinder duties and lawncare for high-stakes, deep-cover insurgency.

Until now.

In these dark, perilous times of late-stage fatigue and mandatory early bedtimes, these underground agitators emerge from exile to awaken the masses from proletarian slumber. For the first and almost certainly final time in human history, Naarm will witness this shadowy coalition deliver an uncompromising sonic manifesto to a world begging for salvation.

Mobilise immediately (or at least at 12pm on October 10). The Dead Beat Dads, Roland Stones, Hows Ur Father, and The Essential Workers unite on the frontline to overthrow domestic oppression, one power chord at a time.

Parental Advice Explicitly Ignored